1% of women have sex every day. Before August 2014 this was not me. So I decided to try it.
The conversation between my partner and I went something like this:
Me: Hey lovely, I’ve been thinking about something.
Him: Uh huh. You are always thinking and brewing up ideas. What’s this one?
Me: No really, I think you’ll like this one. Can I share it now?
Him: Sure, no problem, I’m all yours.
I digress, at his point I’m feeling butterflies, excited, nervous at the prospect of actually saying it out loud because that means I am accountable to do it. Back to the conversation.
Me: I would like to have sex every day. For us, for intimate connection, hell, for research, to say we did; to carve out a sensual space just for us. It’s August 1st, so let’s start today. What do you think?
I digress, again, Reaaaaaally, it’s day two as I am on a post-orgasmic high from last night, which is where my idea may have come from. This would make it one month and one day. Just sayin’.
Him: You had me at every day.
And so we did.
This article is the compilation of the benefits, insights and connections that surfaced during our month of intimate connection, from a him and me perspective.
Him: There was a very intimate connection between Les and I. Being together every day brought us closer emotionally and “sparked” something that had cooled off. After a long day, sex gave us that second wind of energy at times and other times brought stress relief and the ability to sleep really soundly. There were also times when we would just BE together and meditate to sleep, feeling refreshed, and the intimate connection really happened on an emotional level. We got to bring a few fantasies to life and try new positions and places and interestingly the spontaneity was really exciting. Beyond the bedroom, I found I was more relaxed at work and had more patience with the kids. Les and I had a better connection, we are more open and I feel very confident how I show up intimately. I highly recommend this.
Me: We did it. Wow. So much surfaced for me during August. I made huge connections between some of my behaviors and my relationship to receiving. By this I mean receiving touch, time and attention. Instead of deflecting it, I started to welcome and receive it. This experience made me realize the truth behind what we most need to learn. I believe in my bones that I was put on this planet to inspire women to reconnect to pleasure. I needed to take my own advice. Courage comes first, and then results. I was out of alignment but am so in sync with my body, my libido and Kevin now. The nuances, the touch, the looks; we don’t need words. THIS is true intimate connection.
A few insights I had during the month of August:
1. You can do pretty much anything to Massive Attack music. I highly recommend Angel.
2. After orgasm I feel more of what I was feeling going into sex. Let me explain: If I was feeling energetic, I had more energy. If I was winding down and relaxed, I would be asleep within minutes.
3. My patience level was waaay up, with pets, kids, other drivers and stressful events. Not so many huge peaks, just little blips. In flow.
4. My business attracted lots of new engagement online, I created a new program called The Sensual Sisterhood and was attracting and converting new business like crazy. Coincidence? I think not.
5. There is no stronger life force that sexual energy. When I wanted to manifest a result, I thought of it when I climaxed and sent out a very powerful message to the universe about my desires. AND IT WORKED.
6. Life is a sensual journey and I woke up to experience it. It’s phenomenal, like mind blowing good. There is a sensual experience to be had in every moment.
7. My creativity soared and was in perfect alignment with those I was seeking to attract.
8. My body, wow. It’s a powerful vehicle for transformation. My pleasure has no concern with the size of my thighs, my bra size or my grey hairs. Pleasure is pleasure; an essential ingredient in my daily life, as defined by me.
9. Even when I was exhausted, I did it. And I never regretted it.
10. I came to love this nurturing man even more than I ever thought possible.
Was it worth it? Absolutely. Are we still doing it? No. The result? Things in our relationship have shifted immensely and we have found our groove, our rhythm. It’s splendid.
Lesley Stedmon is a sensuality coach, author, speaker and registered nurse dedicated to inspiring women to create more time for pleasure and sensuality in their busy lives and creating the space their desires deserve.
When not on her Sensual Journey, Lesley can be found writing, reading and chilling with her Sisterhood, playing with her kids and living large with her husband on beautiful Vancouver Island, BC.