Valentine’s Day -Single & Dating (Online): A Survival Beauty Guide

It’s Valentine’s Day (I bet all six of you who live under a rock didn’t know that!), or as we call it in the land of single women – Saturday.

And while I’m sure I could write another piece on what it’s like to be single on a day like today, I think we all know that it’s a widely varied experience for everyone, partnered or not.

Let’s get this out of the way first: Dating sucks. Everything you think you know about it is true. Before you deal to it, it’s better you plan your steps before dating, there are a lot of sites giving dating advice like to make your date successful. Dating has become very weird in our wired age. It’s made weirder as you get older, or when you have kids or exes you’re bringing along for the ride. Now, sprinkle it all with body issues, busy schedules, and the fact that you don’t have an advanced degree in psychology (or maybe you do, which I bet is majorly helpful), and you start to understand just what it’s like to date these days. Remember, you have to make a good first impression, practice proper hygiene and visit your 7 days a week dentist. When it comes to a waxing hair removal treatment, most women will probably prefer to have it carried out at the salons, spas or other beauty centers that are available out there. Some women may consider that other women must have been out of her minds if they are willing to do the waxing treatment themselves. However, as a matter of fact, it is very possible to wax the bikini line all by yourself. This DIY bikini hair removal may be something that is very preferable, especially if the salons or beauty centers in the neighborhood are charging US$ 30 at the minimum for such a waxing treatment. Several decades back, only men used to remove their body hair from their faces, mostly to keep their faces looking clean and well groomed. Women shaving their legs were unheard of, more so, using hair wax on the bikini line was not practiced that often in the past. It was only in the middle of the 20th century when the term “bikini line hair removal” became popular. Recently, hair removal has become more like a norm than an oddity, as the idea of beauty evolved through time. Women started removing hair on exposed areas of their body, to reinforce their “feminine” side, as most think that too much hair can make them look manly. Some began hair wax on the bikini line for hygiene purposes, because having less hair means less bacteria can thrive on the genital area. It can also make the pubic area look cleaner and for some, more attractive to their sexual partners. Some women would like to flaunt their bodies during summer with shorter and more revealing swimsuits, and visible hair around the bikini line or the crotch part of the swimwear is considered ugly or even socially improper. So for most of these women who love to wear high crotch swimwears, there are actually several ways to do bikini line hair removal, but the most common is pubic epilation, or using hair wax center to remove unsightly hair around the bikini line.

The Must Haves

  1. Friends who will help you stop analyzing that text you just got. “Hi” means “Hi”. I promise.
  2. Look pretty, invest some time on your external beauty. A good  hairdresser and a good waxer. Personally I’m done with the old painful way and I use these laser hair removal in NYC services since 21. At The Dermatology and Laser Group, we use the Motus AX laser, which is the latest and greatest laser technology for laser hair removal! This state of the art laser allows for completely painless, fast & uniform treatment. Click here if you want to know more about laser hair removal procedures.
  3. A really, really good sense of humour. You will never understand laughing because otherwise you’ll cry better than when you start online dating.
  4. Thick skin. Strangers you’ve never met will sometimes say horrible things to you. It’s not about you, it’s about them.
  5. A fake email address. For anyone you want to give only  slight promotion out of imaginaryland to, while you continue to assess their serial killer potential.
  6. A foolproof safe call/save me from this date system. You will need it. You need someone you trust enough to get vulnerable with, they’ve heard it all, and they give great advice.

With tongue mostly in cheek, I give you an excerpt from:

The Single & Dating (Online*) Survival Guide

The 5 Stages of Online Dating

Like grief, the five stages don’t always happen in order, and sometimes you revisit different steps multiple times.

  1. Kid in a Candy Store – This stage is all about that excited, overwhelmed, dazzled by the bright colours and sounds feeling you get when you realize there are a bazillion single people in your local area, and you could date anyone you want. If you are trying to date a white guy check out these helpful dating a white guy tips. You check out everyone who passes you in public – at the grocery store, the coffee shop, in traffic. You check for rings on left hands, signs of wives/husbands and children. You check out a lot of asses. You catch yourself trailing off in midsentence while at dinner with your friends because someone unbearably good looking just walked in. You have the courage to speak to exactly 0 of these people, but still! You noticed. You might even make eye contact and wiggle brows in their direction. During this stage, you also set up a whole bunch of dating profiles, but of course, not Tinder. That’s for hookups.
  2. High Hopes & Higher Standards – Because this isn’t your first rodeo, you have now created an extensive list of what you will and will not accept from a partner. The list is long, detailed, and covers everything from career status to grooming habits to number of pets. You diligently craft your dating profile, making it clear you are a seriously lighthearted, quirky yet grounded, successful but not too successful woman who is at once both into sex and has never had it. You know. That girl. You’re certain that you’re going to find your next great love in as little as the next 90 days, because you are open and manifesting wild and epic romance.
  3. The First Dates Merry Go Round – Your profiles have gotten you some promising bites, you’ve exchanged witty flirty messages, and now it’s time for some first dates. The biggest perk here is clear: free dinners. You pick your favourite restauarant over and over again, and the staff starts to wonder about you. You smile and nod through lots of small talk, you agree to meet up again, you never, ever hear from them again. But that’s okay, because you’re just in it for some fun! Seeing what’s out there! No pressure.
  4. POP! Goes Your Bubble – This stage is all about disillusionment. You get your first message from someone who wants you to assist them in their pursuit of an obscure, fringe fetish. They have pictures, too. Or you figure out that someone you’re chatting with is actually married. Or you end up highly matched to your cousin. Or you end up with a string of messages who dive straight into discussions about sex.  A cynical bitterness sets in, and now when you see you have a message, you roll your eyes. During this stage, you also download Tinder. Because it can’t possibly get worse.
  5. Back to Reality – Standards back at normal levels, you resume your search. Sometimes you take a break in here, too, and get a little bit of perspective with time and good friends who point out where you were searching for a figment of your imagination. Return to Stage 3.

The Red Flags

  • Faceless photos – Because let’s be honest, most of these folks aren’t public officials. They’re married.
  • Date stamps from the early 2000s on their photos – A double red flag – they haven’t been out socially in many years, or their appearances have changed drastically.
  • Any of the following words in their profile – my ex, baggage, currently between places, just got out of a relationship, no games, no drama, no high maintenance.
  • Empty profiles – Too confident in their looks and/or conversation skills. Or lazy.
  • Multiple cell phone numbers – Married.
  • “Open” relationships – This one is more of a pink flag. Usually married.
  • Anyone whose “looking for” age range starts at 18 – No one over 30 dates an 18 year old. Not anyone YOU want to date, anyways.
  • Text speak – Absolutely no one gets to do this and still be taken seriously.
  • Penis Pictures – Because I said so.The Single & Dating (Online) Survival Guide

Decoding Online Profile Language

What It Says
Looking for an active girl
Loves the outdoors
Not looking for anything serious
No drama
What It Means
Looking for a thin girl
Will make you go on hikes
Looking for sex
Has a crazy ex

Happy Valentine’s Day, single friends! When you’re mindlessly swiping away on Tinder tonight, remember that nothing good ever comes of a holiday hookup. Christmas Eve’s matches taught you that.

*While I know people meet each other in places other than online, I have not figured out where those places are yet, because the only time I ever get hit on is when I’m hauling two kids mid tantrum through the grocery store, and I suppose looking appropriately desperate and willing to be picked up by someone who finds flustered moms attractive.

 Photo by Pen Waggener via Creative Commons



Stephanie Ostermann

I’m the sort of girl who you meet for coffee and end up pouring your entire heart out to. The friend you come to when you need someone to call it straight. No bullshit. No extras. Just truth.

I’m a communicator. That’s a PC way of saying I like to talk, but I also spend a lot of my time listening, and over the years, I’ve developed a sense for subtext – how one or two words can change your entire message, what people are really trying to say and how to weave the varied layers of your story into one cohesive brand message that your clients fall in love with.

When I'm not acting as editor in chief for Vivid & Brave, you can find me geeking out over words here.

Latest posts by Stephanie Ostermann (see all)