How to Ask for Help: A Reference Guide from Kindergarten

Help. Everyone needs it, and no one knows how to ask for it. It’s a shame. There’s a stigma. Deep down in our souls, we secretly second guess ourselves, “Shouldn’t I be able to do this by myself?” If any part of us thinks we should — we stay silent instead of reaching out.

It’s idiotic. We struggle, far more than we should, projects take longer, and we fail to utilize the network of resources we have in the people who care.

How to Ask for Help

“Caring is sharing!”

Who knew, Dr. Seuss, Eric Carle, and Aesop Fables were helping to teach us life lessons!

Let’s review three lessons from kindergarten that show you how to ask for help.


It all started with a trip to the bathroom.

That’s how I remember it. You were five years old — no longer a “baby”, and you got to go to school! (albeit kindergarten) Everything was new, everything was amazing, and you were reveling in your new found freedom.

If you wanted to go to the bathroom — you had to take a buddy. Buddies made sure you didn’t get lost or drown in the toilet, and in a pinch they could reach under the stall and get you toilet paper so you could make sure you wiped.

Getting help isn’t a judgment on your competency, it’s a smart move forward to cull your resources. Odds are you have people in your life who are willing to help you, just ask!


Reading is a big deal. It opens a whole new world — especially when you’re a kid. Back when we were fumbling to master multi-syllable words, one rule held true. When you can’t say a word, you sound it out. You piece together the sounds you know until it gives birth to a word.

When you’re overwhelmed by a problem, take the time to break it down to pieces. Any large issues and projects are just a series of smaller actions. Your large goal may seem overwhelming, but when you break it down to its smallest parts, it’s manageable!

It’s enlightening to know you need help, knowing what kind of help you need is EMPOWERING. You can’t rally an action plan until you know what action you need. Get to it!


As a child, I had a flair for the dramatic. Once in awhile, my feelings would overwhelm my brain, and my frustration would overflow in a series of slammed doors, stomping, and incoherent vocal expressions. My mother, a lifelong teacher was always primed to recognize “teachable moments”, her response was always — “Use your words!”

The same is true now. Quite often, people want to help you — make it easy, tell them how! No one knows what you need unless you tell them. (I know a truly revolutionary thought.) You may be blessed to have a few people in this world who are in tune to what your needs might be — but for most that won’t be the case.

Once you’ve broken down your problem into the smallest possible steps, start to identify the things that are out of your control. Who do you know that can help?

Help. In it’s simplest form, help is providing what’s necessary to get it done. It’s not a stigma for those who need it — it’s a duty of us all to provide it.

Jennifer Dowe

Jennifer is a Do Better-Change Maker dedicated to empowering women to live a lifestyle of constant growth and personal development. Fixing is her superpower, which she yields as a writer and transformational coach. Her happy place is filled with fix-the-world conversations, Smartfood popcorn, and Talenti Gelato; concisely presented at