Did you choose a free compliment? Can you honestly accept the compliments as they’re written or do you feel the need to instantly create excuses as to why you don’t look ravishing today; how your shoes are 3 years old and well, your eyes look like baby poop because someone told you once so it must be true. Or maybe you rarely cook so how could your food possibly be good, and lastly you don’t move in a sexy manner, it’s more of a lumber.
Why can’t we accept and delight in the compliments that are given to us? What age did we lose this ability?
I am certain if I told a 6 year old they were beautiful they’d believe me 100%; now a 16 year old would probably roll their eyes.
Why is it important to learn to accept compliments?
Simple; its the difference between living life feeling empowered versus discouraged.
We live in world swirling with negativity add in our own dash of self loathing; believing were not good enough, worthy or beautiful and its no wonder we are in need of a kind word or two to make us feel good about ourselves again.
In fact, it’s scientifically proven that people who receive and give compliments freely are more successful, have stronger relationships, learn tasks with ease and have larger social networks.
Years ago I visited a friend in Washington D.C. It was a wonderful trip touring the historical memorials, perusing the expansive museums, cruising by the white house and at night hitting the local scene. Years later I remember more about a homeless man then any other thing. I had the honour of passing by this man known as The Compliments Man on the street on a couple of occasions during my stay; each time he had something kind to say to me and people around me. It’s funny; I’m sure I’ve received many compliments in my life but I remember his like it was yesterday, the first time, it was my knee high boots he loved and the next time, my fancy red pants. He gave his compliments with a twinkle in his eye, smile on his face and a kind nod of his head. He may have been a complete stranger to me but I instantly knew his words were genuine.
He had taken an activity – “begging” – that is considered a nuisance and turned it into a positive and enlightening experience. In fact, he’s so famous you can Google “The Compliments Man” and you will find numerous articles about him. Imagine, one homeless guy in D.C. has become famous for simply giving out a few kind words.
What doors could open up in your life if you could receive a few kind words and believe them through and through?
How would your circle of friends change if you praised the people around your more frequently? How often would you be more wiling to carry on then give up if someone noticed?
This year let’s learn to magnify our strengths and not dwell in our weakness.
So, your challenge if you to chose to feel empowered is:
#1. Accept every compliment given to you.
Do you honestly think someone is just saying it? Do you give out compliments if you don’t believe it? Take back your power; delight in the kind words thrown your way. Say a big thank you and mean it. There is nothing worse then someone admonishing your kind words.
#2. Give out sincere compliments more freely.
For the next week, I want you to give out at least 10 compliments a day. This can be to strangers, friends, co-workers, family. Don’t hold back – your words have the power to change lives. When we start paying attention to the things around us this practice of acknowledging becomes easy.
#3. Be mindful. Our brains are hard-wired for the negative.
This quote sums it up best:
You’re awesome! Yes you, got it?