When’s the last time you orgasmed? I know right out of the gate; wham bam thank you man. I guess if you’re bristling then you really need to continue reading; please, trust me this is going somewhere and you don’t want to miss out.
I’m talking about the climax, peak, big “O”, zenith, crowning point, spasm, highlight, payoff; call it what you will, this is your gift and a fundamental liberation, for, mind, body and soul. It would be a pity not to explore it further. Essentially; you’ve got to be the tour guide for your body, so take the responsibility seriously.
Scientists have been studying women’s bodies for centuries and well, they still aren’t getting it right when it comes to orgasms, in fact they say that 43% of women in the US are unable to achieve orgasm; they’ve even named it FSD: female sexual dysfunction. Imagine? Giving it a name? They’re even doing research on drugs and genes to see where the link is, why some women can come and others can’t.
I’m no bloody scientist but I can tell you what the problem is…
What’s in your head – your belief systems, negative thoughts and the idea that you can’t possibly take pleasure in yourself are the problem.
You’re the only thing standing in your way.. No scientist can “fix” that, only you can.
Think about it; what is an orgasm?
Release, intensity, trust, letting go, pleasure, openness, excitement, surrender, vulnerability.
Now, if we exclude anyone who may of experienced sexual trauma of any kind.. (This is a whole different ball game and can’t be lumped in with the average Jane)…
Then that leaves the rest of us; with 43% who haven’t experienced this awakening and who knows how many are actually enjoying this gift on a regular basis.
We’re a stressed out society, closed off, and often uncomfortable in our own skin. The men are the same too, just look at how many penis lengthening options there are. How can we expect our bodies to let go and literally allow pleasure to fill us when we’re judging, assessing and analyzing everything around us?
Your body is a pleasure dome just waiting to be ignited. There are thousands of points between your head and toes that are just waiting to be lit up, like a Lite Brite! Remember that cool toy you plugged pegs into various holes and created these illuminated patterns or pictures and they glowed brightly. When you think of your body as a playground just waiting to be enticed it changes the game.
So let’s debunk some myths with four truths:
- Every woman has the bits and pieces to orgasm. Yes you do!
- You can orgasm without vaginal stimulation and some have been known to just their very own thoughts!
- There are 3 different kinds of vaginal orgasms – Clitoral, G-Spot, Cervical (I think this will be another article because there certainly is a lot of info. On these subjects too!)
- Everyone can have multiple orgasms
Okay, you’re scratching your head and wondering how?
Let go. Whether you’re solo, partnered, communicating via distance – it’s about being present 100%, not thinking about what to make for dinner or my bits are jiggling. It’s about imagining that you are the Lite Brite and you want to get lit! In your vagina alone there are 81 individual points of pleasure! Wild eh? Orgasms will come naturally and more frequently when we think of sex as a kind of mediation, when you fully and completely surrender yourself in the moment and allow your body to relax, give in fully and completely you can only benefit.
What’s holding you back that you probably don’t even realize?
Stress, shame, guilt and anger. These emotions block our bodies from fulfillment. Want more orgasms? Then you need to change your mindset, start believing you deserve to experience this magical pleasure. Whether you’re alone or with a partner, its time to explore, experiment and play.
You have the power to rid your self of these negative thoughts, open channels to more self-love and nurture your soul with a deeper connection with your partner by pushing your boundaries and letting go. Letting go of the outside world, literally and figuratively. Bringing arguments and bad thoughts to the act of pleasure is counter-intuitive.
I get it, maybe you’ve been with your partner for years and it doesn’t seem as exciting anymore.. Well, it’s not about “him” its all about you, Girl! Why aren’t you taking advantage of equipment that can invoke sexual gratification?
You can burn calories, get a release like you’ve had an hour massage and have the shit fucked right out of you, and what I mean by that is the negative thoughts, the voice in your head that says you can’t enjoy yourself, that you don’t deserve this. It’s about you. So why are you denying yourself?
Science has gotten one thing right.. Women who have sex on a regular basis experience a strong sense of self; manage stress better, develop stronger relationships and experience an overall well-being.
I recently read an article about a couple who decided to have sex everyday for 365 days.. Yes this task may seem daunting to some but guess what the couple said after?
It was the best thing they could have done for their relationship. They experienced a deeper connection, never felt happier. What they found worked was scheduling sex dates, exploring fantasies, communicating what they needed and enjoying their time together came naturally.
Super-Charge Your Libido
How can you super-charge your libido and give yourself an instant boost of confidence? Try this breathing exercise: (p.s. works for men and women)
There are points and meridians along our body that act as pleasure sensors and when we breath into them we can ignite a little fire down under.
Step #1: Imagine you are going to hold back from peeing, just a wee bit, not clenching your lady bits but just an awakening of sorts, like in yoga or pilates.
Step #2: Draw in a deep breath, imagining the breath is gliding up from your vagina, over the coccyx, up your spine to the top of your head.
Step #3: As the breath reaches the top of you head, slowly exhale, visioning your breath rolling down your front, over your belly, across your pubic bone.
Step #4: Repeat at least 4 – 5 times with this mindful breathing seeing the breath come up your back over your head as you exhale and release the breath down your front.
This exercise works really well to charge you up give you a boost of energy, confidence and an awakening in your libido.
Don’t take my word for it; try it now. Oh and by the way: the more often you do this exercise, the faster it lights you up. In time, you may only have to take one breath cycle and you’ll feel the heat blooming.
So what are you waiting for? Here’s to you enjoying more titillating play dates with yourself or partner!