Let’s face it, we all face challenges in life. No two people have the EXACT same challenges. It may seem that way, I’m certainly not the only woman that is a single mom, but my challenges are personal to me, just as your struggles are to you. There are minor differences and the way we react or deal with adversity is what makes them unique to us.
I read a quote earlier this week from Dieter F. Uchtdorf, he said “It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.”
( UHHH #TRUTH )
Adversity comes in life – a lot. There’s no changing or stopping that fact. Life would not be life, without adversity. Our reactions to adversity makes our life what it is. When bad things happen, are you like me and image the WORST possible outcomes? Or are you more of a go-with-the-flow kind of person? (Oh how I long to be a go-with-the-flow kind of girl!)
We don’t all experience the EXACT same adversity either. Yes we experience similar trials, but there are circumstances unique only to us. It’s due to these similar trials that we can empathize and have compassion for those in situations that we have experienced as well. I’m not the only single mom in the world. I can no sympathize with other single mom’s regardless of their circumstances.
So how do we deal with adversity when it comes? We can curl up in a little ball and slink away from the world. Or we can face it. Some adversity is harder to face than others and we will all have those trials in life that seem to overwhelm us and make us feel as if we are to be drowned in the depths of despair. So here are my top 5 ways to deal with adversity.
Step 1 – Recognize it!
We need to recognize that we are going through a rough patch in life. We need to recognize it for what it is – a trial and one to make us better people. We do not learn from the good times in our lives. We learn from our trials. We grow in our trials. Trials are a good thing, even if they don’t seem like it at the time.
Step 2 – Accept it!
When we are able to accept our trial as a learning process we will be able to overcome the adversity much better. Acceptance is a hard step, but when we accept trials for what they are, we are better able to deal with what’s happening and more importantly, what’s coming. It’s not often that trials last for a short time, they can sometimes last for weeks, months or even years. That’s a long time. Stay focused and accepting of the trial.
Step 3 – Don’t blame!
Ok this can be tricky. But really try not to place blame, even if it truly is someone else’s fault! Blaming makes it harder to overcome the adversity because blame can lead to hatred and the desire to seek revenge. ALWAYS A BAD IDEA! So don’t do it. Don’t blame God, your mom, your ex or anyone else. Yes you can accept that someone’s bad choices led you to this moment, but let go of the blame.
Step 4 – Just breathe!
Science has proven the calming effects taking deep breaths has on a person. It is shown to relieve stress, clam anxiety and help maintain “inner peace”. It’s true. I learned the technique a few years ago or taking deep breaths in and out through the nose. Don’t rush! Breathe in for a count of 10 (slowly – not 5 year old on sugar speed), then exhale slowly until you can’t exhale anymore. Do this for 5-10 minutes. You’ll be surprised at how this will make you feel. Also try meditation for clarity and prayer. Trust me – it works!
Step 5 – Get support!
As I previously stated, there are people going through or have gone through a situation like yours. Seek them out. Ask for their advice. Who knows, what worked for them may also work for you. If not, keep looking. You can also seek professional help if you don’t know anyone else or do not wish to speak openly about the situation with someone you are close with.
There you have it, Brandy’s 5 steps to dealing with adversity. It’s not fool-proof, we are human and fear can sometimes get the best of us. I have used these steps over the past year and have found myself in a place where I am much happier with who I am and the choices I’ve made. Adversity comes to us all – how will your life’s story play out? I’m hoping it’s a good story… after all it’s up to you.