If I Lived ‘til I was a Hundred and Two

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I am a live music junkie. It doesn’t take much for me to plunk down some cash and go see a performer live. From large arena shows, to small house concerts – there is something about music, particularly live music, that feeds my soul in a way that few things do.

If I lived ‘till I was a hundred and two

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That said, sometimes that fuel is difficult. I used to joke that you knew it was a good concert for me if I cried – music does move me that much but there are some songs, some shows that take that to a whole new level.

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In August of 2004, my ex-husband and I went to California for vacation. We spent 10 days traveling from San Francisco to Napa and Sonoma and back down to Monterey and then Big Sur. It was a really, really wonderful trip. It was also probably the last time that he and I were truly happy together. The day we left for that trip, we found out his father was quite ill – an illness that dominated our lives for the next 13 months. Eighteen months later, we would decide to divorce. But those 10 days, I still look back on with such fondness and love.

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I thought of that trip recently when I saw Colin Hay in concert. If you are not familiar, Colin Hay was the lead singer of the 80s band Men at Work. He’s now a solo artist and still remains a wonderful singer/songwriter. During the show, I was taken back to that trip to California. While I am sure we listened to other music, for me, the soundtrack of that trip was the soundtrack to the movie “Garden State.” I can’t hear a single song from that album without thinking of driving along Rt. 1. Pacific Ocean to our right, mountains to our left and some of the most breath taking scenery that the United States has to offer. As I listened to that song, I wiped the tears from my cheek. While I know that both he and I know that our divorce was the right decision for our marriage, I also know that there was and is a great love between us and for that, I smiled.

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But if I’m being honest, that isn’t the only reason that tears poured down my cheeks. This concert was supposed to be part of an anniversary celebration – an anniversary that didn’t happen. I tried to sell the tickets because I knew it would be a difficult show to go to. Music can make me cry on a good day and I knew this wouldn’t be a straight up, plain ‘ole good day. But I decided to go – there are just some horses you have to jump back up on so I invited a friend and off we went.

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Then he sang the song. The song that was part of the last time that I was truly happy in my first marriage. The song that talks about grief and loss. The song that on a good day can make me cry.

I read somewhere recently that there are some things in your life that you never get over – you merely learn to carry them with you. I have thought about that a lot lately. There are some things in my life that I have absolutely gotten over – even some big heartbreaks, I have gotten over. But there are some things that I know in my heart, I will never get over, have never gotten over. I have healed. I have moved forward. I have learned to carry them with me without them owning me. But there are some heartbreaks that you will just never get over.

Don’t want you thinking I’m unhappy
What is closer to the truth
Is that if I lived ‘till I was a hundred and two
I just don’t think I’ll ever get over you.

-“I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You” – Colin Hay

Amanda Lipnack

If you truly want to curl my toes, give me a chance to make a difference - for you, for the community, for the world.Few things make me happier than supporting the folks around me to be the best and happiest people they can be.This, of course, winds up taking on a multitude of flavors but generally comes through by being a good friend, a good coach and an excellent paint color picker.

I'm a single lady living in the suburbs of Philadelphia with 2 cats named Leo and Toby (after characters on "The West Wing" - one day I will have the ability to recite the entire series by heart.That's a noble goal, yes?).

I've had a varied career doing a bunch of technical stuff that isn't that interesting to folks who aren't doing it but my real passion is writing.I also get the fabulous pleasure of coaching people from time to time and that brings me amazing joy and energy.

If you want to hang with me there are things you should know:I curse.A lot.I like hoppy beer.A lot.I like big and deep red wines. A lot. I adore my friends.A lot, a lot.I am passionate about politics (or a big geek about them - you choose).I'm an accidental but rather passionate Unitarian and few things make me happier than my dining room table surrounded by people I love.And picking paint colors, let's not forget that. Find me online here.

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