3 Tips to Have a Better Divorce

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When I divorced my ex I hired one of the best divorce lawyers in the county, I also made incredibly stupid choices. I really did. I was not one of those that handled it with a lot of grace. I was a mess. It was ugly. Slowly I realized that I was in control of how things would go in my life and that I actually needed to hire the family lawyer colorado springs co right away. I could be bitter. I could be that crazy ex-wife. Divorce coaches play one of the most important roles in the collaborative process. Coaches are  mental health professionals trained in the collaborative process. Divorce can be sad, painful and scary. But divorce can also be a liberating time for new beginnings. Sometimes these feelings come all at the same time so it is important to get family law attorney services in order to make the right decisions

Or…

I could become independent, strong and fierce.

3 Steps to a Happier Divorce

I chose the latter. However, it took me a while and with many mistakes later, I am becoming the person I have always wanted to be.

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I made so many mistakes but here are the top three mistakes I made. I hope you can learn from me so you an become the person you deserve to be much quicker than I did. Allow me to start with one from outside of the list. It’s the most important one, and the first step so the rest will come together: hire a divorce law attorney first and foremost, and follow their advice. They will not only be able to keep a cool head better than you, but they will also understand how to follow due process much better than you as well.

Mistake #1: I trusted my soon to be ex-husband.

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I didn’t ask a lawyer for legal representation during a divorce in Utah and if my rights where being honored and if what I was signing away was a good thing. You can do a divorce settlement on your own. You can go through mediation. Those options are great and will cause less stress. However, before you sign anything, get a second opinion from a divorce attorney. Pay a few hundred dollars to have a lawyer read over everything to make sure you aren’t making costly mistakes. The Jackson WY Injury Attorney or divorce attorneys would be able to help you. I didn’t do this and had to pay thousands and thousands of dollars to correct everything that was wrong in our agreement. It set me back considerably financially and emotionally so if you are ever in this situation you should find yourself a trustworthy divorce lawyer.

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Once a divorce is in “full swing,” so to speak, the goal is usually to reach an amicable settlement on property and arrangements without having to go to court. Good local divorce attorneys will shine at this stage in the process, able to use the force of law and legally-binding contracts to win as much as they can for your side. Even so, sometimes the smoothest divorces are the ones that have the most compromise – neither side will feel like they’ve “won.”

Mistake #2: I didn’t set up healthy boundaries at the very start of the divorce.

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I was devastated when my husband kicked me out of house. I was not prepared and was in survival mode. I allowed him to call the shots, decide what was best for both of us and tried to placate him. These are all very unhealthy things to do. I did not establish my own set of emotional and physical boundaries. I allowed him to berate me, decide when I was allowed inside my own house and when I could get access to our financials. By putting up healthy and reasonable boundaries, you can become stronger in knowing you are in charge of how things will go for you. A divorce law firm can help you get a healthy  divorce.

Mistake #3: Forgive yourself.

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I was not always a great wife. I made a lot of mistakes when it came to being in a marriage. I had a lot of baggage from my childhood. All these things are not any different than other people’s issues, but the divorce attorney services was a great option for my family. Forgive yourself for the things that happened in your marriage. By doing this, it allows you to move on and not get bogged down by the past. We all make mistakes. We are human after all. Mistakes allows us to learn from them and to become better people because of them. Love yourself enough to forgive yourself.

Divorce is tough. Some say its more stressful than a death of a loved one. Hopefully these three tips will help you if you are going through a divorce. Hang in there. It gets better.

Sarah Heil-Brenny

Sarah Heil-Brenny is a single divorced mom of three teenage boys who lives in a suburb of the Twin Cities. Pack leader of two dogs with a combined weight of 9 pounds. She is often found knitting in inappropriate places, watching way too much Netflix, posting too many pictures on Instagram, and munching on anything gummy. Sarah pretends she is an extrovert but she is a closeted introvert who adores spending an obscene amount of time by herself and a few awesome friends. She is an adolescent psychotherapist who has a private practice. Photojournalism was a passion that turned into a business but really it’s because she can fly her drone. She does this all the while going to school for her PhD in Social Work. Someday she hopes she can just sit, relax and not stress about her yarn stash. Until then, she lives her chaotic life. Welcome to it.

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