“In tragedy and despair, when an endless night seems to have fallen, hope can be found in the realization that the companion of night is not another night, that the companion of night is day, that darkness always gives way to light, and that death rules only half of creation, life the other half.” ― Dean Koontz, Lightning
In the dead of night, it’s hard not to say screw it. Screw love, screw work, screw this, screw that. Your perception of reality is skewed. We speak to ourselves in a whirring tornado of negative thoughts and speech.
That darkness can be night, or it can be the darkness of our brain. Either one – the literal or the figurative – is a daunting enemy.
When we are stuck in the depths of our depressed minds, when the light is nowhere to be seen, we can spiral into inconsolable despair.
We are not rational. We do not see our worth, nor do we particularly care. We keep spiraling to the depths of cruel painful mental self abuse.
The black hole of our cruel minds does not let us escape our own tortuous thoughts and ramblings. We are mean.
The dark and dead of night. Literal night fall and the figurative and painful darkness of depression. Both are dark and foreboding creatures to which we await the dawn of day as our escape.
How do we wake from this darkness? Do we wait until the dawn? Do we understand that, with time, the light will come upon us? Do we even care, or are we so anxious to see that light that it makes the pain of dark even worse?
There was a time in my life when I could not remove myself from my bed. My eyes were swollen and painful from crying. I did not see the end in sight.
The moment I surrendered to that feeling of gut wrenching pain and stopped trying to push it off, was the moment I turned the corner.
I stopped trying to rationalize that if I just tried to ignore the pain, that it would go away. I started feeling that pain for what it was – a deep rip in my soul and a deep emptiness in my heart.
To feel that pain is the only way to get through it. Our brains will continue to remind us that something needs to be processed, and that something is not right. Until we acknowledge that pain and sadness, it will keep coming around.
Acknowledging and surrendering can eventually give us the strength to do something. Whether it’s making a life change, making an appointment with a therapist, or simply getting out of bed. Once our brains are done reminding us that we need to deal with that hurt and darkness, we can fully process that pain. By acknowledging and surrendering, the energy that has been drained from our bodies returns.
The darkness of night slowly becomes the light of dawn, and we can move forward.
Like many people, I have had so many crazy things happen in my life that I don’t know where I would be without these events. Whether it’s a world famous photo, moving constantly, traveling around the world, having a near death experience during a miscarriage, or losing my husband unexpectedly, I am at my best in chaos. Change is what I am good at!
I am here to show you that the best can come from the worst. Life is short. Do good things. Pursue your dreams. You won't regret it.