Ever find yourself literally or figuratively closing your ears and saying “la la la la la la laaaaaa I can’t hear you” to your aching heart and mind?
Embracing your painful present moments sucks, but it is the only thing that truly leads to change. Dreaming to escape only creates prolonged pain and mistakes.
There are hurtful moments that we need to live in, because we can only truly change if we feel the hurt associated with bad decisions or grief.
In this era of “live in the moment” there is too much emphasis on joyful “live in the moments”, and not enough emphasis on painful or sad “live in the moments”.
We use day dreaming, alcohol, drugs, social media, and other things to avoid the pain of loss.
We cannot dream away a lost companion, a lost job, or a zero balance in our bank account.
We have to focus on figuring out what has caused that pain. What are those patterns that led to this outcome? Are we repeating mistakes of our past?
Is there anything we can do? Was it out of our control?
Losing someone to death is not something we can control – so living in that painful moment is about really feeling the pain of loss so we can move truly forward. Grief cannot be avoided – and the more you push it away – the worst and longer it gets.
Making a bad business decision is something we can control – so living in that painful moment is about figuring out where we went wrong, and how we can change going forward.
In both instances , I use journaling to live in that painful moment. It helps us specifically focus on what it causing us pain, and helps us act on that pain.
Acting on on that pain – whether from tragedy or mistakes – stops our brains from beating ourselves up.
Living in the painful moment is not about beating ourselves up. It is not about telling ourselves we suck, or that we never should have loved them, or that we’re going to be poor for the rest of our lives. It’s about learning, growing and changing. Journaling and writing gives empowers us to move forward by giving ourselves an outlet to record possible concrete actions and steps.
Mistakes make us who we are. They are the DNA of our soul and spirit. Avoiding the reality of those mistakes, though, makes for a long, painful path that leads to nowhere.
Pain exists, but it is what we do with the pain that matters in the long term. Good can come from the bad parts of life.
Like many people, I have had so many crazy things happen in my life that I don’t know where I would be without these events. Whether it’s a world famous photo, moving constantly, traveling around the world, having a near death experience during a miscarriage, or losing my husband unexpectedly, I am at my best in chaos. Change is what I am good at!
I am here to show you that the best can come from the worst. Life is short. Do good things. Pursue your dreams. You won't regret it.