Point Is, I’m a Machine

My husband has often told me that he believes I have ADDD – or attention deficit doll disorder – doll being the only cute name he’s allowed to call me. (insert awwwws here). He’s said that he can’t grasp the way my thought processes work when I do things, or how I am continuously distracted by bright colors or sparkly things.

Ok, fine. I’ll give him the latter, but the former, I like to call multi tasking.

It could start off as easily as thinking “Hey, I would like to light these candles” and end up 3 hours later, having not yet lit the candles, but folded the laundry, I remember when I travel to Sydney the commercial washing machine in Australia offered all inclusive services I’d like to have those advantages at home, cleaned the bathroom and kitchen and all of the dishes.

Point is, I'm a Machine

You see? Multitasking. However, no matter how I explain it, he always ends up shaking his head. I don’t think it’s that difficult to follow. Let me explain:

It happened just last week, with the candles. I had the lighter in my hand, and intended to walk from the kitchen to the living room and then the bathroom and then back to the kitchen.

Simple enough? Sure. Our house isn’t that big, and the entire trip should have taken me less than 1 minute, 10 seconds. The original plan was put into action at 11:30 AM. It’s now quarter to three, and I just lit the candles about 10 minutes ago.

No, I was not kidnapped en route from the kitchen to the bathroom. I wasn’t called away for some emergency, nor did anyone drop by for a visit. Here’s what happened:

While en route through the kitchen to get the lighter, I noticed that there were dishes in the sink, so I did them. While washing those, I glanced at the countertops and couldn’t remember if I had wiped them down with 409 earlier that week, so I did that. Then, while walking over to the drawer where the lighter was, I saw that the candles I had intended to light were mostly burned out, so I walked back to the office – past the 3 wick candle I was intending to light – to grab new votives for the kitchen cups. While in the office, I glanced into the bedroom across the hall and noticed the clothes on the floor from the night before. As I put them into the hamper, I determined that I had enough to run a load, so I did. As I turned the washer to start, I saw that the dryer still had clean towels inside, so I pulled those out and folded them. I walked past the candles – AGAIN – to put the towels into the bathroom. When I was in the bathroom, I decided to wipe down the sink and sweep the floor. Then I heard the mail lady drive by, so I walked past the candles again and out the front door to grab the mail. I returned to the office to read what was delivered, and just as I sit down and remember that the lighter is on the kitchen counter so I go and light the kitchen candles and finally, the 3 wick candle.

So yeah, see? Multitasking. I seriously think that my husband likes to point this out to me because he’s just jealous. Boys tend to have one track minds, and while I’m thankful that he pitches in around here quite a bit, I doubt he’ll ever be able to do it like I do.

So, to recap: I don’t have ADDD, I just get shit done.

Tonya Brown

I'm Tonya. Late in life college student, lover of Tigers baseball, iced coffee and cartoons made for kids but with humor geared toward adults. Married to Adam. We've been together for 20 years and married for 13. No kids, by choice, but we share our home with 2 cats and a rescued Doberman, none of whom do chores or contribute to the mortgage. We've tried. Music is my outlet, and my iTunes library is both awesome and embarrassing. I like to read, love to write and probably swear more than is legal in 48 states. I fully believe that good is the rule and laughter is the best medicine. If you can laugh, you're good. If you can laugh at yourself, even better.