I was recently approached and told that I was doing an amazing job of having it all together. I tried to be kind and not laugh directly at the nice lady, but all I could think is: “If only you knew”.
Truth is these last few months have been pretty much hell on earth for me. It’s been one thing after another with growing legal fees, illnesses, and other mounting bullshit. I’m running myself ragged and in an effort to simply survive, all of my best laid plans have flown out the window. What should have been delicious cooked at home meals, has become daily trips to Starbucks, Taco time and McDonalds. The cleaning and organizing of the house has become dishes piled in the sink, toys tossed haphazardly into the playpen and sniff tests for clothes to wear from the pile of laundry that still hasn’t made it through the wash. I can’t remember if I’ve actually paid any of my bills this month, or if I have the money to make my car payment. Nor do I remember the last time I actually balanced my checkbook.
The long and short of it is my life is one giant hot mess and I don’t even know how to begin to clean it up.
And that’s ok.
Author Jon Acuff says “You need to forgive yourself. You need to give yourself grace. You need to give yourself time. And you might need to do that a thousand times before you believe it’s true.”
So what is a girl to do when her life falls completely apart and she doesn’t even know where to begin to put things back together?
Assess Your Situation
First and foremost, figure out what you need to accomplish. This might be a huge list for some of us. For me, it includes getting my finances back in order, catching up on bills, organizing my kitchen and family room, cleaning out my car, finding daily time for myself, making a solid plan for cooking meals and packing lunches.
Decide what items you need to make it happen.
If you need a good chunk of your life organized, consider buying a customizable planner. I found my planner for 2016 on Etsy. It’s a full life planner with a plan of action, goals & goal planner, monthly & weekly breakdowns, a mindmap & project planner, plus a weekly planner with daily breakdowns, habit chart, to do list and a weekly reflection spot. The same shop has a finance bundle as well, that I plan to purchase. By purchasing the printable file, I can have it spiral bound and tabbed at my local Office Depot. It’s a bit pricier than its store bought companions, but this is really important to me and worth the added expense. (Plus it’s pretty so it’s “fun” to be organized).
If you’re having trouble with cooking at home, consider a meal delivery service or a meal planning service. There are several options out there for pre-made meal plans at a low monthly cost. Once you’re a bit more organized you can skip the service and plan your meals yourself. Or you might just find price of the service is worth the reduced hassle.
Maybe you need manpower assistance. Buy a case of beer, order in pizza and put a call out to the husbands of your girlfriends. Offer the girlfriends women chat and wine, while the men baby proof your kitchen, tear down your crappy shed or hang pictures in your house. Bonus points if the women enjoy organizing and can help sort through all those McDonald’s toys you’ve accumulated in the last month.
Create an action plan
Using a spare piece of paper, or that fancy new planner, make your goal list. Give each goal a realistic time frame. 2 weeks to get a budgeting plan created and all bills set up on automatic payment. 2 months to save for a spring wardrobe update. A whole year to lose that 20 lbs and tone up. 3 months to get your house organized. 6 weeks to get your schedule adjusted.
Then create timelines to reassess your plan. Maybe you want to schedule time once a month or every three months. Maybe you need to track your bills, appointments, etc. on a daily basis rather than a weekly one.
If you find yourself 3 months into your plan with it falling apart around you, trash it and start over. Every baby step puts you farther away from where you are and closer to where you’re going.